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I did a lot of thinking.  I told myself that if I had a bit of doubt, I was going to stop.  I first looked at birth control to see if there was a less dramatic approach.  I didn’t see anything that tickled my fancy.  A couple of years ago, I tried almost every birth control on the market. I’ve used two kinds of birth control pills, the ring, the patch, and the shot.  They all messed me up in some way! From a period that lasted for three months and three weeks to swollen ankles to facial hair and my body becoming hairier! Not cool, birth control, not cool! I thought about an IUD. One transferred hormones to the blood stream, but the user is not supposed to notice anything.  Based on my history with birth control, I quickly ruled that out.  There was a copper IUD, but just the idea of it slipping out of place and piercing something makes my stomach turn! Once I ruled those things out, I looked into getting my tubes tied. I saw a method called the Essure.  Again, I was not trilled at the idea of metal coils being pushed into my tubes.  So, On to the traditional surgery. I read everything I could about it. The positives, the negatives, the amount of pain.  Any and everything on the subject.  Personal accounts, both positive and negative played a huge role in my decision. I decided that I wanted to go with the more tradition surgery.  I knew I didn’t want my tubes simply cut.  I know a lady who had her tubes cut and she got pregnant and carried it until full term!  That was enough to scare me!  I, then, looked up positives and negatives of having children and not having children. My decision never wavered.  Next, it was time for me to see how doctors reacted to single, young ladies with no children who want the surgery done.   Not very good.  Hell, even ladies in their 30’s with no kids got turned down repeatedly.  The younger ones never even got seen because they were turned away so fast! Not the thing that I wanted to read, but that was the reality of the situation.  I figured I couldn’t just go to the doctor and say, “I want to get my tubes tied!” and expect it to be done.  I had to make sure my reasons were legitimate. 

I called Planned Parenthood to see if they did any sterilizations at all, but, in Connecticut, they are not allowed to do it. They gave me a list of people who did it in the area. I thanked her and called the first doctor on the list.  I asked about setting an appointment to see if I am eligible to get my tubes tied. ….. and also told her  that I am 23, single with no children.  The secretary said, “Oh! Um, I guess I can still set you up with an appointment…” I told her that If the doctor isn’t going to at least hear me out, I’ll go elsewhere.  She put me on hold for about 10 minutes and set me up with an appointment, a month later.  I was thrilled that someone would see me, but also terrified. I hate arguing or being assertive, especially when I am trying to prove a point to the other party.

I begin looking up common questions that doctors ask whose who want their tubes tied. Common comments like “You were a kid once”, “Don’t cheat your child out of life” and “You’re too young” came up.  I wrote a long list of questions I may encounter and my response to them so I can have them memorized.  Again, I have to memorize my answers because my train of thought during conversations that may become possible arguments  are horrible. I get sweaty and start studdering and forgetting what I was even going to say. I also wrote down a list of my reasons, made a family tree(my family tree is horrible. A lot of family not talking to each other, unknown grandparents and child abuse), and proof that I am considered independent on my FAFSA which is a hard thing to do unless you are 100% taking care of yourself.  I also made a list of questions that I had for the doctor, if we made it that far, but I was optimistic. I did wonder if I should make a string of appointments with different doctors just to have them set up, but, I didn’t. I looked up reviews of the doctor and he mostly has high ratings.  I put all of my eggs in a basket and decided to just see him, and if he told me no, I’d learn from my mistakes and try again.

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